In the next paragraph, I’m going to make mention of something that no one likes to read about. And in the paragraph after that? I’m going to bring up another something that is usually a taboo subject. BUT- have a little faith, people. I will breeze by the topics so quickly your head will be spinning. Why must I include this information at all, you ask? You NEED the background information for this post to make any sense at all.
My apologies, but here it comes. Periods. All women get them and no one likes to hear about them. Especially us women. Bring up the subject of PMS and expect to get a swift kick to the groin. But, here it is anyway. The background information you require. I get brutal periods and horrible cramps. That’s it- the end.
One more thing to quickly bring up and be done with? Rob has just recovered, for the most part, from a serious infliction of food poisoning. Enough said.
Whew- now that the uglies are out of the way, let’s get on with the story.
With Rob away, our conversation time has become incredibly limited, so we try and make the most of it by only discussing the things that REALLY matter in life.
“Ugh. I feel like total and complete crap. I haven’t slept all week and to make everything worse, I have my period and think I just might die. Seriously. I may go out, lay down on the highway and wait for a truck to drive along and run me down and take away my pain. Uggghhhhh.”
Rob is amazing people, because if the situation were reversed? I would so call on the fact that I was just in the hospital for my own stomach issues, which were likely about a bazillion times more intense than some menstrual cramps.
He did not. Like I said, as he’s all amazing and everything. “I have some stuff here that would probably make you feel better. I’ll bring it home.”
“Hun, you shouldn’t be taking any illegal substances across the border. Seriously.”
What? It’s not like there’s a wide array of pharmaceuticals offered in Afghanistan that aren’t available here.
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
“Well, my back’s been really, really bad again. And I’m still feeling like shit altogether, so I went to the Canex to get some Advil and something to relieve bloating. I saw a box that specifically said it works for backaches and bloating, so I picked it up.”
“Okay…”
“I didn’t notice it was for menstrual related cramps, backaches and bloating until I read the back after I was already back to my room. And also? That shit didn’t help me out at all. I still felt like crap and was out eight bucks.”
TIP: Pamprin products are not for men.
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